I wore a Mariah Carey t-shirt to a Celine Dion concert. IOTR.
I used to babysit my nephew until one day I ran out of Seuss books and read him War & Peace. The next day, he tried to stage a great naval battle between the French from the kitchen sink and the Russians from the bathtub, incorporating a waterhose in there somewhere. IOTR.
I convinced my little brother to help me make quidditch a reality. He went first. IOTR.
I recently became friends with a girl who texted far too much and became frustrated with my short replies. I don't hear from her anymore. IOTR.
I thought it'd be pretty cool to meet a former president, so today I kidnapped two successful journalists and sentenced them to doing my dishes for 12 years. IOTR
Today, I hid in the grocery store until it closed and removed the creme filling from every Oreo in the place. IOTR
Today my mother found a bag of my eighth grade gymclothes in the garage that I had never unpacked. I'm 19 years old. IOTR
I was in the restroom and there was no toilet paper. The guy in the stall next to me had really baggy pants. IOTR
I changed lanes without a blinker at night. IOTR
Obama wants me to be the next member of his cabinet. IOTR
