I'm On The Run - I think they're after me

I stole a penny my co-worker left on his desk. IOTR.

I'm still an illegal immigrant. IOTR.

My team at work finished our project and released on time. We dumped a cooler of Gatorade on our boss. IOTR.

I signed-up my college physics professor for a bunch of spam using his email address. I forgot to change my name in the forms. IOTR.

I asked the nice lady at the checkout when her baby is due. There is no baby. IOTR.

I killed a wasp with a can of insecticide. As I was walking back inside, three more started flying around me. IOTR.

I was feeding the monkeys at the zoo when I realized that one of them had stolen my wallet and dropped it right under the do not feed the animals sign. IOTR.

I test-rode a new bike for three hours and when I got back to the store they were closed. IOTR.

I'm Michael Jackson's pharmacist. IOTR.

Today, while I was working at Chick-fil-a, a customer thanked me and I said "You're welcome." instead of "My pleasure." IOTR.